Audrey

Santa brought Audrey to the girls for Christmas. Kelly has left her here for the past couple days.

It is almost like having two Pipers. The only difference, I can crate Audrey!

She is a Nosey Nellie and won't stay out of Piper's car seat. It was driving us nuts. So. . . .

what to do, what to do? I have it! Put an old towel in an old apple basket and, viola, an instant puppy bed! They say: "Necessity is the mother of invention." I have to agree.

100 Mile an Hour Tape

I've talked to Jenny a lot this weekend. She called Sunday and told me she had put up her outdoor Christmas decorations. She had hung some green light spheres on her porch. The cords had hung down so she taped them up with clear packing tape. We tossed around a few other options, just in case, and I finally ended with: "If the clear tape won't hold up to the weather, just get some hundred mile an hour tape and use that." She thought she would be okay with the packing tape, and I said, "you're probably right".

She called me again tonight on her way home and was chatting to kill the time. Our conversation went something akin to this:

Chat, chat, chat.
Chat, chat, chat.
Chat, chat, chat.

Then - the hightlight of our conversation!

Jenny: "The packing tape didn't hold. It started coming down. I sent Todd to Home Depot last night to get some hundred mile an hour tape. He couldn't find it, so he asked a sales person where it was. The sales person told him he has never heard of it. They didn't know what it was. He came home empty handed. So I asked at work today if they knew what hundred mile an hour tape was. They hadn't heard of it either. What is it Mom? I don't want to use duct tape unless I have to."

Me: (inside my head: Bahahahahahahahaha! ! ! ! ! Bahahahahahaha! ! ! !) Sorry
It is the same thing as duct tape, Jenny. (inside my head: bahahahahaha! ! ! ! ) Sorry. Again.

What is the world coming to when your local hardware stores don't know what hundred mile an hour tape is? That's all we ever called duct tape when I was growing up. And still do, as a mater of fact. And, I knew the story behind it, to boot.
Oh. . . . you haven't heard of it either? Well, let me enlighten you as to how it got it's name:

100MPH tape according to Urban Dictionary: (just in case you wouldn't believe me)

Army slang for what civilians commonly call duct tape. The actual army name for it is olive drab green reinforcement tape which is what you would need to call it if you were to order it from the army supply store (GSA).

The story goes that during WWII the army asked Johnson & Johnson to develop a seal that would keep moisture out of their ammo cans. J&J answered with OD green reinforcement tape. It is said that the tape was so effective at keeping moisture out that water would bead off it like "water off a duck's back" earning it the name "duck tape". Duck tape would end up having multiple uses in the military, though; with supply short during WWII, duck tape became the military's answer to fixing equipment in the field. Seeing how effective, efficient, and versatile a roll the tape played in the military, J&J marketed the tape to civilians as a fix all. The tape became known as "duct tape", but I'm not sure if this is because the most common usage was to hold ducts together or because civilians misheard the name.

Throughout the history of the military, supply was always an issue, and in the event that GI's didn't have the proper tools to fix something they would use duck tape. As a fix all, duck tape was so effective that it was said it could hold a jeep together travelling at 100 mph, hence the common army name "100 mile an hour tape." Ask anyone from the army what it is and they'll tell you.

So Jenny, use duct (duck) tape. I don't think the makers of hundred mile an hour tape will mind.

Matters of Life and . . . . . .

On Tuesday we (Jenny, Ben, Erica, Hope, Rease, Helena and I) went to Ocean City so Jenny could buy a couple of hermit crabs for Erica for her birthday. The shells on those things are nothing like they used to be. Now they are painted up in all kinds of designs. Erica got "Sponge Bob" and baseball painted shells. Really cool. I'll have to get Jenny to take a pic and post it here later.

Anyway, as we are walking, I have Helena on my right and Erica on my left.
The conversation at that moment went something like this:

Helena: "Mom-mom, you know the apartments we used to live in? They, um, found two people dead there."
Me: "I know. I heard it on the news. Aren't' you glad you don't live there any more?"
Helena: "Yea. But why do people kill themselves?"
Me: "I don't know. Not very smart are they?"
Erica: "It's so they won't get in trouble."

And on we go.

So, I guess that sums it up. If you want to whack someone one and don't want to get in trouble, I guess that means you have to whack yourself!

(On a serious note - there was a homicide at those apartments. I didn't elaborate on this to the girls. It took a very long time for them to get past the little Foxwell girl's abduction and murder. All of them were here at that time and it was very scary and very hard for them to grasp.)

I hate that such "heavy" things have to weigh on a child's mind. Even the news is "R" rated anymore. Such a sad thing - that all the ugly out shines any good and an indescribable fear is left in the hearts and minds of our children.

Things That Make You go . . . "Hmmm . . ."

Yesterday as I was finishing my blog about my "wallet", Kelly handed me Piper and asked if I would finish feeding her while she ran home and changed. They had been swimming in the pool.
As I am feeding this little sweetie, Helena is eating a peach in her little chair just diagonally behind me. Perfect spot to analyze the veins in my legs, again. So. . . here we go:

Helena: "Mom-mom, you have veins in your legs."
Me: "Yes, I do."
Helena: "They are in 3-D."
Me: "3-D?"
Helena: "Yes, one is sticking out!"

I turn and look at her, as she is slurping her peach, not missing a beat, she smiles back at me.

Okie-dokie.


Kelly returns and visits for a bit and as she is collecting her "parcels" (that being the girls), she points out the rebate check on my kitchen counter. I know, I tell her. I need to take it to the bank. But she keeps "tapping" it. So I walk over and look at the check.

Yep, she's been here alright!

My Wallet

I got this wallet/check book set for Mother's Day from my hubby. He brought it to me when he came home for Ben's graduation. Jenny's girls said I would like it. They were right. I simply love it!

I am proud of my gift. Everyone that has seen it has complimented it.

Everyone except for the cashier at Food Lion, that is.

We were in there Tuesday evening picking up a few things. When I got to the register I pulled out my bank card and my MVP card. The cashier looks up and sees my wallet. The conversation went something like this:

Cashier: "That's a pretty big wallet."

Me: "Yea. It holds all my stuff. CC's, money and such. If I wanted, this would be all I would have to carry."

Cashier: "I don't know why you need a wallet that big."

Me (a little confused here): Well, it has all my stuff in it, and . . . (in a meek voice) . . it was a gift.

Cashier: "I don't see the need to have a wallet that big." - (just add insult to injury, here)

Me: silence - thinking, should I respond again?

Cashier: "I don't have all those credit cards and stuff."

Me: silence - thinking, no, don't respond

Cashier (as she reaches beside the register to retrieve an object): "This is my wallet. It's plenty big."

Me: Smile, retrieve my bags of groceries. I think I remember nodding in approval.

Cashier: "Have a nice day."

Me: "You, too." thinking - you just busted on my wallet!

Now mind you - we are in line. Bob is with me. I can only wonder what is going thru his head.

As she was showing me her wallet, the line was growing. I'm squirming inside, thinking "No, I don't want to explain this conversation. No, I can't speed things up." But it did make me laugh a little at her spontaneity. She was -opinionated - enough said.

When we left the store, I turned to Bob and asked: "Did you hear her?" Duh? Of course he heard her. He was laughing. At me, I think. Because - he defended her and her implication of wallet snobbery.

As I have thought about these wallets two things come to mind:

1. Color difference. Mine is bright and bold. Hers was black pleather.

2. Size. Her wallet looked a tad bit longer and a tad bit narrower.

My conclusion: Although her wallet was narrower, it was longer and black. Everybody knows that if you want to look thinner, you wear black.

Mine was taller, but shorter. It was definitely brighter. Perhaps the colors gave the illusion of girth. I'd bet nickles to donuts that per square inch, our wallets were the same size!

The things that make you go "hmmm. . . ."!

I Had a Dream . . . . . .

Someone (I won't say who, but her initials are: Kelly Majors) texted me at 6:00AM this morning to tell me the girls had school today after texting me last night to tell me they didn't. My alarm is set for 6:30 - arrghhh! Anyway, I felt it was necessary to go back to bed and get my 40 extra winks! I could have been Rip Van Winkle because it felt like I had been asleep for days before my alarm actually went off! Yes, I know he actually slept for 20 years - but that's ok - I think you get the picture.

During my 40 winks, I had a dream I was at work. I walked into Julie Price's office to find her laying out scrapbooking pages on one of those fold out tables - the white plastic kind. She told me she was getting ready for Heidi's tonight. I remember thinking, "but, you're at work". Hmmm. . . . So I proceeded down the hall to another office - I can't remember now who was there, but I knew her in my dream. Not only was "I can't remember who you are" there, but so was her husband? ? ? ? Odd, I thought. She also was arranging layouts on a fold out table. She was going to Heidi's too! Alrighty then.

I proceed to my office, but before I could do anything, in walks Heidi. Queen of "no need to work today, we're scrapbooking tonight"! In her hand she had some pictures of Dan and Ben when they were in school. They were basketball pics - did Dan even play basketball???? No, no, he didn't. . . . . She also had some fall looking cut outs she had done and some very intricately cut words, that she had done by hand no less. I was afraid to touch them when she gave them to me for fear of tearing them. These items were for my use at her house tonight. She had more pictures to give me (of her and PG at King's Dominion? Okay? ? ) when they "get here".

Oh my. Were we really going to scrapbook? Did we really abandon all work ethics on this particular day to "prepare" for our time together? Was I dreaming?

Yes, yes, and yes.

The alarm went off and I was left holding precious scrapbook paraphernalia in my hands.
Reality came hard.
My day was about to begin - minus scrapbooking.

Oh well, it was what my psyche needed at the time, and, it does make my day seem more tolerable!

So. . . . . thank you dreamland! ! ! And . . . . thanks to all the participating "characters" ! ! !

Hmmm. . . . . . .

On the way home from shopping this morning I was listening to SRN news. Not engrossed in it - news in and of itself depresses me. But something caught my ear. Divorce. Among - of all people - same sex marriages. Made the corners of my mouth turn up - just a bit - well - a lot :)
Hmmm. . . . .

Seems there was a small problem - a judge would not grant a divorce to a "same sex marriage" couple. See, in his jurisdiction - same sex marriage was illegal. So - seeing how same sex marriage was illegal and not to be performed - the same held true for "same sex divorce". Hmmm . . . . sounds like trouble in paradise if you ask me. Guess this means that the loveless couple will have to pack their bags and head back to whence they were married to "get - unmarried"?

It appears the whole "same sex marriage" thing has some created some "snags" for itself. Did they think because they had "conquered" the legal system and all those conservatives that they would "live happily ever after", because after all, it was now their legal right? Or maybe they thought they would be "exempt" from the stresses of everyday life, which give little to no concern to whom they affect?

At any rate, I'm thinking getting unhitched has created an obstacle aaaall it's own!