I'm not sure why I'm writing tonight. I just feel the urge. If I don't write, I'll surely hurt someone and we don't want that to happen now do we. I also feel like spelling every other word wrong. How's that for a mild case of rebellion? Not bad, if I say so myself. You may turn the page now if you are sensitive and don't want to read, otherwise, read at your own risk.
I get into these "moods" every now and again. It's all okay. I wouldn't really injure anyone and I eventually right myself. But I must have them. Otherwise I would eat 300 pounds chocolate a day and maybe, for added kicks and giggles, about 20 gallons of ice cream on top of 20, 9x13, pans of brownies loaded with 20 bags of chocolate chips for good measure. Ha! Now that's what I'm talkin' about.
So. . . . you're probably wondering why I'm in such an intolerable mood. I would like to say: "Because I can be." , but that's not really appropriate - or is it? Hmmm. . . . Well aside from the fact that I am dog tired, my house is upside down, my kitchen isn't done, (and its bugging the daylights out of me), we are in the proverbial bread line, again. Did I say I am tired? Dog tired? Being unemployed drains me emotionally and physically. And it sets me up to have these nasty moods. Most of the time I roll with it. Right now, not happening. But, this too shall pass. It is just a season. I don't know how long it will last, but I know it won't last forever. Amen on that.
I know I am in the cleft of His hand. I know I am secure during the turbulent rides. But, they are turbulent none the less. And sometimes it is a bit frightening. And it is dark. And I don't like the dark. So I have to remind me that He has me. But sometimes I forget to remind me and let my emotions take charge. And take charge they do. But I know it will be okay. It always is. With that, tomorrow is a brand new day. With brand new opportunities. I am making it my job to look beyond those gray clouds I love so much at times to the Son that shines behind them. My silver lining is there - somewhere. I just know it is. He promises me.
I'm better already. Just had to scrawl it out.
Summer Smells
7 years ago
Barb, I have days like those you described & sometimes can't put my finger on what it's all about either. But, once I get my head back on straight & remember that He is in charge then I really don't need to be worrying... Is it satan that loves to distract us from the Way? This verse is all too familiar, but today it struck me in a different way...a personal way. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding.. ...Sure sounds simple, but I needed that reminder again today.. Your dark hour will pass, but in the mean time...stay focused...Love you, My Friend.
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