Thanksgiving 2012

I'm feeling a little nostalgic today.  Not in a bad way or in an overwhelming way.  Just an "under the surface" way.  I think Thanksgiving does that to people.  It certainly does it to me. It demands that I reflect on what I have, what I've lost and what is important in life.  Sometimes that demand clunks me right in the middle of my forehead.  BAM!   Wake up and smell the coffee, woman.  Time is a fleeting thing.  Pay attention to the small things that make the world go 'round.  It's those things that you should be thankful for.  They grease the axles of life. They are the things that should be embedded in your memory bank.  Observe them.  Dwell on them. Cherish them.  REMEMBER THEM!   These are my commands to  myself.

But, I sometimes find it hard to swallow my own medicine, practice what I preach, do as I should and not as I want.  I let my OCD for a "perfect life" rear it nasty head.  I fall for it's trickery ~ It tells me: "People expect perfection from you."  "You are a failure."  "You can do better than that." "Speak only if you have something worth saying, and only then if you're asked." "You don't have time for that."   On and on and on it taunts.  It's hard to escape that which has been riding your coat-tail for so long.  It's hard to shake that "imperfect" feeling.  It.  Is.  A.  Daily.  Battle.  for me.  Daily.  To conquer that which is larger than life, to succumb to life as it is and not what I think it should be, and to remember that I am, after all, only human.  It is in my quietest moments that I can remember the important stuff.  When God nudges me to let go of those things that are irrelevant. Sometimes I can ~ sometimes I can't ~ either way, I am aware of it ~ all of it.

So. .  . here we go . . . .the second paragraph has my name all over it.

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

This may be my Thanksgiving Prayer for today and every other Thanksgiving and all the days between.