Christmas in February

Christmas in February?  Why not?  Sometimes the hectic, whirlwind, over-stretched, over-stressed feelings really put a damper on what we are really celebrating.  So stepping back and exchanging gifts with extended family later on is refreshing.  That's what happened this year ~ a delayed exchange.

I always love the gifts I get.  They are fitting for me.  I'm all about simple and sweet without all the fluff-n-stuff.  Fluff-n-stuff is nice, but sometimes it's irrelevant.  Simple and sweet means thought out for me specifically.  That's what touches me ~ that someone has listened to my needs and sometimes my wants.  ;).

I received a February gift that really spoke to me.  It wasn't a "want", nor was it a "need".  It was, however, geared specifically to me. It was a Willow Tree figurine, a "Generations" piece.  A grandmother, a daughter and a granddaughter comforted by a quilt.  Yes, this was me.  I love to make quilts and I love even more teaching my lovelies how to make them. Very fitting. Yes, very fitting indeed.   It was the note that came with it that made me do some serious thinking.  So, I guess, this post is more about the effect of this exchange rather than the timing of this exchange (although God's timing is always perfect).

The note that accompanied it simply stated:  "Crickett, When I saw this I instantly thought of you. You are the anchor in your family....even on the days you don't feel like you make a difference to anyone.  Love you more than you know, Donna"

A simple note with a profound statement.  I can assuredly say I don't feel at all like any anchor.  More often than not I feel as I've let my entire brood down.  I can't for the life of me see them tethering themselves to me for anything, let alone, stability.  I feel more like the buoy in the ocean, bobbing to and fro, insecure in where I'm placed. The only thing keeping me from drifting out to sea is The Anchor tethered to me. Perhaps my minuscule affect on my family has trickled it's way upward from The Anchor to the buoy to them. Perhaps.

"Needy"

I had an epiphany this morning.

My Boy had said to me something along the lines of: "a girl being needy".

I pondered these words as I was throwing laundry into the dryer.

I realized ~ women in general are a needy lot.

We need:
To love, be loved and feel love
To be independent but dependent
Affirmation, support and acknowledgement
Appreciation
Freedom to be ourselves, but belong to someone
To be creative
To cry, laugh and be quiet. Sometimes all at once.
Company and quiet time ~ alone.  Sometimes at the same time.
Affection
To play and be serious
To ponder all that is and all that will be.
To be emotional without judgment
To be protective and protected
To be soft and firm at the same time
To fix what we think needs fixing

Therefore, we are needy.

I'm sure the list could go on and on.
If you are a woman and think none of these things apply to you, well, I'm sorry for your loss.

I know without a doubt we needed men so we could be women.  Without them,  we aren't.
God didn't make a mistake in making Adam first.  He made Adam in His image and realized, I think, He needed an emotions roller coaster to be his help mate. No need letting him go  through life's ride all by himself.  God then needed Adam to make us. We needed Adam to exist.  There's no shame in that!  We then wrapped all our emotional mumbo jumbo around the corner post God provided us with.  Men may not understand, but that's ok. They just need to realize and know that fact ~ 'cause let's face it ~ it's a bigger picture than they can see. 

Go ahead ~ be needy (not cling-y).  Need the things that make you who you are.  Own them. Don't settle for what the world is trying to impress on you.  Look within and you'll see you already have all that and then some.  So don't get your britches in a bunch, be the woman you want to be and be thankful for those men in this world because without them, we wouldn't be.  They are our corner post, not our whipping post.  We are their equal, not their superior.
 
End of epiphany.

I'll get off my soap box now. 

Brick and Mortar

These three words have been my "Safety Net Phrase" for a couple of weeks now:

Brick.  And.  Mortar.

That's it.  That's all my house is made of.  Well, throw some wood, plaster, paint and a little blood, sweat and tears in there for good measure. 

I have to tell myself this while I'm traveling the most uncertain road I've ever been on.  I know not what lies around the bend or even the next step, but I do know Someone has been holding my hand
as I journey along.  Someone stronger.  Someone wiser.   Someone full of love and caring.    As this does comfort me, I still ponder the what ifs.  I can't seem to help myself, but I'm learning that that is OK, as long as I don't tarry there in the Land of Uncertainty. 

How can I claim those three words as a safety net?   I used to think that I would fall apart if this house weren't mine any longer.  A great amount of my life's memories are held within these walls, or, are they?    I am understanding more and more each day that "these walls" only encompass us physically.  ALL my memories are housed within my heart and soul.  Those are things that cannot be removed from me, short of death.  That is how I can claim those three little words.  Not to hold onto, but to let go of. 

It is the stuff between the brick and mortar that will soften my fall.  The stuff we cannot see or smell or touch.  The stuff  Hope invokes ~ such as Faith and Trust and Prayer.  Lots of faith, lots of trust and lots and lots of prayer.

So, when I feel as thou doom and gloom awaits on the horizon, or  uncertainty is at the door, I throw on a sweater of Hope and take the hand of my Redeemer, trust and pray, and remember:

It's just. . . . . .

Brick.  And.  Mortar.