Thanksgiving 2012

I'm feeling a little nostalgic today.  Not in a bad way or in an overwhelming way.  Just an "under the surface" way.  I think Thanksgiving does that to people.  It certainly does it to me. It demands that I reflect on what I have, what I've lost and what is important in life.  Sometimes that demand clunks me right in the middle of my forehead.  BAM!   Wake up and smell the coffee, woman.  Time is a fleeting thing.  Pay attention to the small things that make the world go 'round.  It's those things that you should be thankful for.  They grease the axles of life. They are the things that should be embedded in your memory bank.  Observe them.  Dwell on them. Cherish them.  REMEMBER THEM!   These are my commands to  myself.

But, I sometimes find it hard to swallow my own medicine, practice what I preach, do as I should and not as I want.  I let my OCD for a "perfect life" rear it nasty head.  I fall for it's trickery ~ It tells me: "People expect perfection from you."  "You are a failure."  "You can do better than that." "Speak only if you have something worth saying, and only then if you're asked." "You don't have time for that."   On and on and on it taunts.  It's hard to escape that which has been riding your coat-tail for so long.  It's hard to shake that "imperfect" feeling.  It.  Is.  A.  Daily.  Battle.  for me.  Daily.  To conquer that which is larger than life, to succumb to life as it is and not what I think it should be, and to remember that I am, after all, only human.  It is in my quietest moments that I can remember the important stuff.  When God nudges me to let go of those things that are irrelevant. Sometimes I can ~ sometimes I can't ~ either way, I am aware of it ~ all of it.

So. .  . here we go . . . .the second paragraph has my name all over it.

Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next.
Amen.

This may be my Thanksgiving Prayer for today and every other Thanksgiving and all the days between.

Thanksgiving Two-thousand-eleven

Thanksgiving is no longer looming over my shoulder, it is here and gone.  I've had mixed emotions this year, as in every year ~ nostalgia and thankfulness.  I think I am a mess. Period.

Nostalgia because Thanksgiving brings around so many different memories and feelings ~ all rolled together like the proverbial pumpkin roll.  And they are just as soft and gooey.  I cherish them with an anxious love. I embrace them as one would embrace a wayward child, knowing you may only be able to hold on for a  moment.  It all falls into that broad spectrum called, L.I.F.E. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. 

Equally, it's hard not to reflect on those things for which I am thankful, especially this time of year.  And I have many things to be thankful for.  My family is in good health.  It is growing in sweet, unexpected ways.  This year, as last year, we have a new Be`be` to be thankful for.  We are all employed at this moment in time.  We may not all be together, but our hearts are intertwined in such a way that we feel and miss each other's presence.  And I believe that's what makes it nostalgically sweet.  As I longingly look back, I assess my here and now, and I anticipate my tomorrows. 

It's this time of year, more than ever that I think of my brother and two sisters.  Without them I know for certain that I would not be half the person I am today.  Un-beknownst to them, they helped shape who I am.   And as I . . . . wait, that's a story for my other blog!  Sorry.

So, thankful I am
Thankful I'll be
Thankful for everyone
And all they mean to me!