Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Bat Master Son and His Side Kick, Goldilocks

Every now and then we encounter the very thing that will make a grown man scream like a girl:  A Bat.  One such encounter occurred Monday night as we were nonchalantly watching "Wheel of Fortune".  The girls were piled on the sofa with me.  Kelly was stretched out on the love seat and Ben was tethered to his phone in a chair behind me and the girls. 

You know how sometimes you think you see a flicker of something, but it's not really there?  Well, that's what I thought.  As I was getting ready to show Rease a quilt block I had made that day Helena screamed:  "There's a bat!".  Now that gets your attention in a hurry.  All business stops and we stare up toward the ceiling and sure enough here it comes, swooping and spiraling from the top of the stairs into the living room creating a pandemonium of great magnitude.  All girls jam up against me, taking cover underneath the box that holds my quilt blocks ~ 'cuase, ya know, bats love hair ~ Kelly bolts out of the house, I think and Ben ends up near the dining room on his belly.  That's where we all remained as we screamed like girls every time the bat would swoop down and circle.  It would go back up the stairs and return lickety-split-quick ~ just to torment us, not once, not twice, but hundreds of times. Okay, not hundreds, but a lot.  We were frozen where we were ~ except for Ben who, by then, was slithering on his belly across the floor to retrieve his phone.  It must have had the wing span of 5 feet!  No kidding.  Well, maybe 18 to 24 inches, but no smaller.  I'm almost sure of that! 

It finally went back up the stairs and didn't come back down.  Now there's food for thought.  Who's room did it decided to park its scary, batty little self in?  Hm?   It was up for debate.  Meantime, Kelly reappeared (with pillow on head, looking like she stepped out of a cartoon), Bob made his presence known, and discussion began on how to "remove" this beast from OUR home. It was a conundrum of sorts.

Since we couldn't "visually and easily see" this home invader and couldn't guarantee that it left by the same means in which it entered. Kelly decided to go to Colin's house for the night.
She gathered Baby Girl and left the older two to decide their fate.  They, being brave souls, decided to stay home and tough it out ~ until it was nearing bedtime.  I gently informed them that my bed was not big enough for four people.  They needed to chew on it for a bit. 

In the meantime what follows next, well, is typical for our home.  Bat Master Son (chaser of the bat, Master of his fate, and Son of my life) and his sidekick, Goldilocks (my heart throb) took matters into their own hands.

They don the safety gear - helmets, gloves, bats (as in baseball)
crab nets, flashlights and a tennis racket

He's going on a "Bat Hunt". . . . . Notice ~ all nooks and crannies are
covered.  No bat touching his skin, no sir!

Goldilocks is a little braver - more skin exposed,
but she's walking softly and carrying a big stick!
They suited up and proceeded to go on a "Bat Hunt".  All went dark upstairs as they tried to flush the beast from it's hiding spot.  Slowly, stealthily, they went from room to room, shaking curtains checking door frames, lamp shades, on top of and behind dressers. You name it, they checked it. All to no avail.  The beast was much more clever than they.  It had picked it's hiding spot well.  Away from probing eyes and "Bat Artillery.  Clever.  Little.  Beast. 

They gave up the hunt. They felt sure it was closed up in the third floor bedroom.  Sure of it.  But, just in case all upstairs doors were shut (either to keep the beast in or to keep him out).  Not being secure that the beast wouldn't enter their bedroom, the girls opted to stay with their dad.  No bats in his house.  They wouldn't have to sleep with one eye open ~ unlike the rest of us who were doomed to stay in the House of Bat.

Not seeing the beast for a couple hours, we felt confident (somewhat) that he was indeed trapped on the third floor.  So Bob and I retired for the night.

Just about midnight as I was settling into a deep sleep, my bedroom door flies open and in jumps Ben. Bat Master Son yells that he got the bat, but he thinks he knocked it out!
What?  Down I go to inspect the situation.  Yep, there he was, wrapped in the crab net.  He had emerged from only God knows where to descend back down the stairs, catching Bat Master Son off guard.  He swung the net and with one fell swoop and knocked the Beast down!

We stand there for a few seconds analyzing the situation and Bat Master Son asks for the flashlight.  He needed to check out the "Creature".  He bends over and touches it with the flashlight.  The bat flips out and looks like it's about to take flight.  That's all I can say, because Bat Master Son and I both screamed and did the "Curly Shuffle" to exit the area just in case our lives were in jeopardy!
I didn't realize I still had it in me to move that fast!  Whew, I guess when your life is on the line you can do miraculous things.   I heard Bob laughing up stairs.  Yea, he can laugh because he wasn't on the front line, defending his homeland.  But, we didn't let him off Scot free.  He got to take the Beast outside and rid us of it.  Whatever went down out there is between Bob, the Beast and the Heavens. 

Ahhh.   Sweet peace.   All's calm on the Home Front, at least until the next adventure, be it plumbing, traveling or bat hunting.

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i'm a wife, a mom, a mom-mom, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend...i'm a child of God.... i love to read, scrap, and sew (all when time permits!)... i like trying new things, going to different places, even if only in my mind....i like simple, but life is complicated....i like spring days, snow storms, thunderstorms, and big puffy clouds you can make things out of....i like coffee, tea and iced chocolate milk you can sip thru a straw..........